how can I just start over

remember when you would finally have your report finished for your AP crit lit class and then the computer would crash

... and you forgot to save it

you probably got all googly eyed because google drive wasn't even a thing yet

did you start over

or did you quit

i liked having to start over

the frustration alone was almost too comical to not just laugh

producing next... the real deal

riddled in wrong "theres/theirs/they're" and lower case "i"s for personal pronouns

right now I don't want to laugh

but I want to start over

I want to control alt delete

but that is not the case hey?

google drives us to automatically save everything, even when you don't want it

you have to delete it a couple of times, double check, then you still have the corpse of the white page

fine I'll just reuse this

but sometimes I just want to start over

anticipating that stained sound of the dial-up after the crash

triple checking that indeed that little black arrow is... indeed frozen

and screenshot doesn't exist

your sister is still on the phone that is plugged into the wall

oh wait, I can't take photos from that anyways

i wouldn't even think to waste a Kodak on it

you stare at the last paragraph, no ability to scroll up

re-write at the very least...

I guess I will just have to start over

reality settles in

everything is remembered

even the crap paper you wrote that you were so very fond of and could've sworn was going to promise you that, "A" back in the Windows 96 day

your tiny little finger pads remember what you wrote

i guess the body keeps score

and dang she is a glutton for what you do

because it caused her to feel

feel is her primordial sense of survival

of course she remembers

she had to

i'd rather not

numbing was an option, you know "gulp"

oops

no longer an option

the storage comes from the clouds

in the form of her rain

every tear burns as she brings you back into the experience

sometimes bringing the earthquake in the form of trembles

eruptions from the oral cavity

is this shame?

where is the start over key

please

honey, that is what is happening

you didn't feel it then but instinctively it is my job to remember

all experiences have something to teach you

because you were not ready then, I kept it safe for you until you were

i gift you many feelings of joy, laughter and pleasure

but i need you to feel these too

you are ready for them now

allow yourself to feel

so that you can start over

*************

We witness/experience tsunamis, earthquakes, fires and start over

She cannot numb from the pain

Where will she hide this

She cannot

A Force to feel

Enter

#seaempathy