Imagine being a Bird that has been duped with getting its tweeny little heart broken by its first love. Yesss… the one the Bird had its first flock with.
Now, I don’t care if you are a human or a Bird reading this, that shit just hurts. Bad. Cover it up how you want but the unseen scar is like a deep cloak that coats the heart tightly in order for it to never be seen or touched again. No Bird ca-ca on this doorstep please and thank you. It is the same reason we run from the chef in the kitchen that got the towel out…. and wet it!
What is important to know is in this relationship, the Bird was authentic. Crack ‘ah dawn this Bird would literally howl at the sun in rhythm with nothing but its own beat. It would then begin shaking its big ass tail feather to this self-made song!
The only time Bird ever saw its reflection was right before piercing the water to snatch the thickest fish. Free flying and aliving was this Bird and don’t forget….IN LOVE.
Until one day…
Bird found other Bird literally riding the back of the Majestic humped whale.
Without going into the wet details of this story, let me just share that the legend of how the whale became known as, well you know, is in no way a mystery. Bird sadly soon discovered this wasn’t the first hole other Bird sought to blow :(
Rough.
Bird heart hardened and the nasty wave of unworthiness fastened the coat even tighter.
Bird stopped howling and shaking that lil tailfeather.
Bird stopped catching the thickest fish in exchange for catching its reflection.
Bird could only see every single feature of itself that wasn’t the humpback whale.
Bird really began to envy the way of the whales and even learned how to adjust its tiny tweets to sound like the False Killer.
Bird being super talented.. ended up attracting a Killer whale one day. The feeling was kind of nice. The two hung out more and more like whales and Birds would.
As the winged animal got more comfortable, the zipper on that coat began to loosen…
It was one of those familiar bright sunrises that Bird used to drop down and “get its eagle on” to while the two were having their morning swim; to everyone’s surprise that howl slipped right out.
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"You are not going to scare off the right person with your honesty." -Stephanie Riggs
Somewhere between the ages of 10 and 30, I started losing my tail-feathers / tightening the cloak around the heart. I prized being accepted over being authentically loved for the way that I could howl at the sun and the moon.
"You are not going to scare off the right person with your honesty."
This quote really resonated with me today and inspired me to write. I want my fingertips to feel the new story I am going to type and tell my mind. The way I go for the biggest catch and shake my growing tail feather is just downright sexy.
The way I type, write, sing and fight will not scare off the right person.
My second grader shared with me yesterday in the middle of practicing math problems, “I sometimes get embarrassed.”
I simply replied, perhaps those are the moments in which you are really just being courageous.
To remember Rigg’s quote and live by it… is much easier said than done. This can also be a lonely period in your life. Live it anyways.
I would rather howl at the shower head for the rest of my life than try to live a life in the False vocal chords of my existence forever more.
Remember, you will not scare off the right person or people. The very few that are in my life now are of extreme quality. They are out there, just do your work and stay in your own lane.
…………………………….
Bird and False Killer are no longer dating.
…………………………….
other Bird and Humpy are.
Chiang Mai
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